The Divide
by CatGal15
Summary: Shrek and Donkey realize the perfect place to raise their eccentric families. One-shot. Complete.


The forest was dark and quiet as Randall Boggs slithered through the grass. It came up to just below his knees, and was wet with dew. The full moon shone like a beacon through the dead branches, which reached like gnarled fingers for the midnight sky. Stopping on the top of an untended hill, Randall stared at a quiet, peaceful abode. Soft light flickered from within. Dutifully Randall began to creep down the hill.

Looking left and right for approaching humans, he didn't see the precipice before him until he lost his balance. He quickly regained his footing and looked down.

His expression contorted when he saw the huge, clawed footprint in the dirt. With a gulp of fear he turned invisible.

"I thought this was the human world," he muttered to himself, as he crept over the dirt. Unseen he stood at the window, peering in at a rather inhuman beast as it prepared a drink of some sort. Whatever this thing was, it lived in a furnished home. Perhaps it had a closet...

Randall climbed in through the unglazed window and watched the beast as it walked toward the living room. Randall followed and made himself comfortable before the creature, who sat in a worn recliner and gyrated his cup. Randall squinted. Was that an...eyeball?

"Shrek!"

Suddenly a talking donkey clopped into the room. "C'mon, man, the wife is away, your kids are gone - you a free man now! Let's celebrate!"

Shrek rolled his eyes with a sigh. "I'm not ruinin' my schedule, Donkey, and neither are you. Back to bed."

"Ohhh, but it's still early!"

"Donkey, you live under my roof and I don't even put you to work. The least you can do is shut up."

Donkey sagged, but nodded. "Okay, okay. G'night."

Shrek was quiet, taking a swig of his eyeball drink as Donkey clopped from the room. After he heard an old door creak shut, Randall let himself materialize. Shrek jerked in response, spilling some of his drink.

"Sorry," Randall muttered. "I need your help."

"Yeah, well, I need to change my undies. Why should I help you?"

Randall smiled, his eyes squinting. "Because it'll get me off your land."

"Okay, I'll bite," Shrek said hastily. "What can I do for ya?"

"Oh, it's very simple. All you need to do is let me open your closet."

"My closet! Why?"

Randall sighed in aggravation. "I belong in a different world. But I was trapped here. Your door is my way back." He studied Shrek. "You don't believe me, do you?" he guessed.

"What gave it away?"

"I can prove it. You want me out of your house, or do you want to pour me a glass?"

Shrek set his cup down and stood. "Follow me."

Randall slithered after him, down a hall and into an otherwise empty bedroom. "Huh. You decorate the place yourself?"

Shrek's retort was cut short when the closet door began to move, and his eyes flashed quickly to Randall as he turned invisible once again. An odd pair of freaks entered the room, one tall and furry, one very short and smooth. They stopped like they had hit an invisible barrier when they caught sight of Shrek. He didn't look very intimidating, and that he was staring at the tall one didn't help much.

James P. Sullivan noticed this and approached him, towering over him by almost a foot.

No longer accustomed to scaring, Shrek slowly lifted his hands. "Raaar."

Sulley smirked at him, and suddenly gave a terrifying, hair-raising roar that shook the house. Shrek staggered back, covering his ears. When the floor had stopped shaking beneath his feet, he dropped his hands. "Alright, you win," he said succinctly.

"You didn't raise the bar very high," Sulley pointed out.

The door flung open and Donkey trotted in, halting when he saw the monsters. He looked down at Sulley. "Maaaan, I didn't think they made ogres that small. Hey, where's the rest'a ya?"

Mike's expression flattened.

"Yer not related to him, are ya?" Donkey continued, motioning subtly to Shrek. "I mean, he got more fingers and no horn things, but your complexion is exact!"

Shrek and Sulley looked at each other at the same time, and their eyes locked. "Why're you in my bedroom?" Shrek demanded.

"We were trying to find kids! We need their laughter to power our city," Sulley explained. Then he smiled and knelt, bringing his eyes to Shrek's level. "And why were you trying to scare me?"

Shrek sighed. "I don't know. I've lost my touch! I'm just not as scary as I used to be."

Sulley smiled at Mike, who shrugged. Sulley put a big hand on Shrek's shoulder. "Well, it sounds like you could use some practice. And I know just the place."

"What're you goin' on about?"

"Hey, Shrek." Donkey looked over his shoulder at him. "Were you aware of this?" He pointed with a hoof at the bustling world of monsters that had come to life inside his closet. Shrek approached and peered past him.

"Nope. That's new."

"If your scaring techniques are rusty, Monsters University can whoop you into shape," Sulley said.

"Uh, figuratively speaking," Mike cut in. "You can see it does nothing for your physique." He raised a hand to Sulley's stomach, and Sulley swatted his hand away.

"I'm not big. I'm poofy."

"Uh-huh, sure." Mike walked past Donkey, stepping into the world beyond. "Are you comin'?"

Shrek reached out for Donkey as he trotted eagerly after Mike. With a groan, Shrek followed. "Who's gonna watch the kids?"

"Puss has it covered, man! You know, with him they have a sitter AND a toy!"

Sulley stepped after him, pulling the door shut behind him.

"Wait, wait, my home - "

"Easy," Sulley told Shrek. "Just open this door. It'll be there."

"Really?"

"It's a door. Your bedroom doesn't just vanish!" Sulley shook his head and walked further into the room with a smirk on his face.

Donkey walked ahead of Shrek, alongside Mike, who watched Donkey, seeing his eyes light up at the eccentric sights. "An' I thought I'd seen it all," Donkey mused. His eyes were drawn up and he saw a flying monster. "Hey, Shrek, look! He looks like my kids!"

"Sounds like you both belong here," Mike noted, and Shrek stopped in his tracks, considering his words. Slowly, he began to follow Donkey and the two monsters. As he looked to his left, he saw another door open. A green monster emerged and gave him a nod of acknowledgement.

"What're those weird noises?" Donkey asked.

"That's energy, being transmitted from the laughter of children into those cans," Mike explained. He pointed up. "Whoever makes the most children laugh gets the highest score."

"And then what?" Shrek demanded.

Donkey stopped, staring up at the intimidating silhouette of a winged creature. Suddenly she fell forward, opening her wings and flapping into the room. As she fluttered to a graceful landing Donkey noticed her red skin, her sweeping tail, and her very dragonlike wings. And suddenly he realized he was home. His kids would fit in here. It was...perfect.

Shrek looked from Dean Hardscrabble to Donkey, recognizing the look on his face. "And you used to scare the kids instead?" Shrek inquired.

"Yeah. Life used to be all about being the scariest, roaring the loudest," Mike answered.

"Do any of you still do that?" Shrek asked.

"Sometimes," Mike answered, "But laughter creates more energy than fear. So much so, we've actually been able to open two more Monsters Inc. factories!"

"Yeah...This one was getting an overload. Lightbulbs kept burning out and doors kept exploding!" Sulley filled in. "Those other two factories opened up a lot more jobs."

"Uh, could somebody maybe make a custom size door for my wife?" Donkey asked. "She's kinda big."

"How big we talkin'?" Mike asked.

"Oh...A hundred feet tall, twenty thousand pounds."

Mike and Sulley both stopped to gape at Donkey. He gave them a big, toothy smile. 


End file.
